OK... Cool your jets.

Here is my story and I'm sticking to it. 

Here is what many people,  even some of my close friends didn't know until recently.

I've written five major books, been a best-selling author, published in multiple languages around the world, a national speaker and media guy. My twenties and  thirties were spent as a big time author and speaker.

I used to be very proud of it... and then for a variety of reasons I crawled back in my shell and hid who I was. I gave it up. 

I hid my passions, disavowed my talent and pursued a different path in business, because it was what others expected of me and I thought I "should" do.

Tony Robbins says, "sometimes we "should" all over ourselves" ... I get it.  I totally "should" the bed.

Why did I stop writing, stop being who I am or doing what I'm best at and was obviously successful?  

Why? Let's just say there is a therapist in Dallas, driving a new BMW I paid for who can tell you why, along with an an ex-wife, but that's another day. 

Up until very recently I never publicly talked about my books or my past, largely because it was just that... in the past.

I've written five (5) books. I've been published twice by Random House and the rest by Harper Collins and smaller publishers. Three of my books are about business and two about being a dad.. three did VERY well and were published in 11 countries and 4 languages. I'm HUGE in Asia. And not just because I'm over 6'0.

I had a couple of best-sellers in their niche (I#5 Wall Street Journal) and did all kinds of crazy media.

I was paid insane amounts of money to speak to thousands of people on college campuses or to companies. I once spoke to a group of 10,000 and was mentioned in Rolling Stone.  I remember, The Red Hot Chili Peppers were on the cover. I was on GMA, had regular columns in newspaper and magazines and media spots all over the country. I was getting calls from producers all over including Oprah's producers... yep I was taking off.

All this while Mark Zuckerberg was probably entering middle school. Social media didn't exist, unless you count the AOL chat rooms. 

Hell, Facebook, Instagram, You Tube were NOT around for my first book, Amazon was JUST getting off the ground.

I was an OG "Original Gangta" author. Old School. 

I still have over 1,000+ letters and emails with praise and comments saying how I inspired people or changed their life or career.

I also have the ones that say I was smug and wrote like a functionally retarded eighth grader.

Both groups are correct.

I was... the shit. I was also, full of shit.

Guarded. Watered down. Afraid to really take a firm stand or position for fear of cutting off the gravy train and acceptance from companies who had become clients or publishers who could determine my next book deal and advance.

I'd become vanilla. I listened to the "shoulds" and "expectations" of others feeling I "should" pursue a different path. 

Those books and activities feel like a lifetime ago.

Actually three lifetimes. Meaning I had three kids.

To put it in perspective...my first book JobSmarts for TwentySomethings, was written when I was a twenty something.

I just turned fifty and HAVE a twenty something daughter who is about to graduate college, along two boys 19 and 16.

I know what you're thinking... "Fifty? Damn, he must moisturize like a SOB." And yes, I do. 

Not long after kid # 3 was born I stopped writing and got a "real" job. I went into "recruiting" or headhunting.

A lot of my books and speaking dealt with careers so it was natural.

I was good at it, but I hated it.  Seriously, a reasonably intelligent chimp can do it.

The problem is there are a lot of really dumb chimps out there, which means if you have 1/2 a brain you'll slay it in the world of recruiting... and I did.

But even though I hated it, I put my head down and closed the other part of my life.

I raised my kids, got divorced, continued to raise my kids, had a midlife crisis, raised my kids, made a fortune, lost a fortune, dated half of Dallas, raised my kids, hit bottom, came back, discovered who I was, what I'm passionate about and what I want to be now that I've grown up... and today I'm free, unencumbered, satisfied in the three stunning humans I raised in my 20+ year hiatus.

And yet.....

Like Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite... "if only I'd have made it to state..."  as he chucks a football outside of his van reimagining the glory days..... I longed to see, what if? 

  • What if I'd stuck with it?
  • What if I'd followed through?
  • What if I'd have not listened to the ex wife who didn't want me to write, or travel or go on certain shows.
  • What if I'd written what was in my head and heart and not filtered my thoughts to appease a NYC editor's frail ego or political correctness?
  • What if I'd have written honestly instead of kissing a publisher's ass , chasing the money or to secure the next book deal?
  • What if I'd have stayed the course I was on, like many of my friends and contemporaries who are now household names or multimillionaires?
  • What if I were true to myself?

The good news with writing is this... There is no game clock. No time limit. No expiration date. Age doesn't matter.

In fact age and experience has not only given me more experiences and flavor.... but made me a better and more fearless writer, made me better and more fearless man.  

"What if.".. has slowly morphed from "I'll try"... to "Maybe" ...to "Why Not?" ... to "Let's See!" to it's current and permanent state, "F... yeah. Let's do this. I know exactly where I belong. Save my spot. I know I'm late to the party, but I'm coming and will be there soon"

Trust me. No turtle boy. No hiding in my shell for others. This time I'm shouting from the rooftops and pimping it harder than Terrence Howard at the Players Ball.

So.... there you go. That's the "E True Hollywood Story" or "Behind the music" 

You're caught up... sorta.

There will be more to come by way of books, content, coaching, much more.

Will you join me for the ride?

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